Went to an early morning appointment to the sound of a chain saw. Two hours later I see the back hedgerow to our row houses, fence and tree branches in a disarray in the yard and watched the cherry tree get taken down.
The purpose is to level our little yards and put in a higher retaining wall. The extra yard space will be nice for the neighbors four kids. The lack of privacy from our missing hedge and lack of shade of our missing cherry tree makes me sad.
And not to beat a dead and done horse but a little notification would have been nice. Half of our block was out of town and the same half were caught unaware.
I am such a feast and famine thing about stuff like crocheting, blogging, emailing friends, playing World of Warcraft and exercise. I balance about two or three of those plates any given day all while walking the kitty-labyrinth and having AdoptionBrain.
I find myself continually putting to-do lists on my phone and papers and church programs and work notepads. Some vary and some differ. I lose my complete train of thoughts and derail like a rabid monkey sometimes. Other times I just find myself staring at the cursor ...
My ABrain bears a striking resemblance to pregnancy brain sometimes. This weeks thought: we are going to be New Parents! It's funny for all the talk of selecting and bringing home young school aged kids and fingering out how to hit the ground running with them at a completely different pace than infants I just hadn't focused on that. It's homestudies and when to tell the family and when to actually, if ever, put it on FB. The basic reason why adjusting will be so hard. The basic reason while I will have to take a small sabbatical from work while I have kids at home and negotiating school schedules for the First.Time.Ever. We won't just be parents we will be New Parents. So the millions of bits we have to put together and not forget to ensure that homework is tracked and boundaries are set and they are eating regularly is on top of us just getting to know them. Getting us all through the 6-month temp stage before they are officially our children and no just our wards. New Parents.
So. Big thoughts. Little brain.
P.S. My favorite old wives tale was thrown at me today from an acquaintance who was parked in the ER waiting to see a physician. She is also 7 weeks along with her 5th child. "Oh so you are actually mid process of adopting? You know what that means right? You will totally get pregnant!"
Responses that I've been gathering for future generous donaters of that line. I am under no delusion that it will be the last time I will hear it. Nope, wasn't the first either.
If I had a quarter for every overused under-thought old wives tales/platitudes I've heard or narrowminded comments this adoption would be FREE.
My guilty confession for the week is this: I love me some music award shows. I especially love them if they have great artists that I like that are performing like Pink, Taylor Swift, Adele, Luke Bryan and Blake Shelton or new artists that I discover via the show. (I have been known to pounce on iTunes mid-ceremony or YouTube to catch the show if I missed it followed by iTunes to snag some bits.)
This week's gem was the 2013 ACMs. So here is my random and subject changing coverage of it.
The opening banter between Bryan and Shelton about their western jeans and than systematically picking on stars like Kellie Clarkson and beau and Carrie Underwood was hilarious. That fine line between trashing and taunting. I just love a little standup. They even paid homage to my fellow country bumpkins and rednecks ... which also sounds like a Walmart memo: no beer bellies, no back fat and no butt crack [allowed.]
Weird note: over 12,000 at the packed out auditorium and another 8,000 at their Fan Jam. Sounds like chaos. I'm attracted and repelled by it. My husband would probably have a drink or two too many while I'd be irritated, excited and way too hyped up on energy drinks and trying to refrain myself from making an unappreciated snarky comment or three or choke out an innocent bystander while trying to find a hole to hide in away from all the menagerie.
Hunter Hayes. That boy can play the guitar! Say what you want about the reality-style music discovery shows like American Idol (season 10? 15? 20?), the Voice, Cry Me a River and the like but some of them really do have unique stars that aren't going away. (Anyone else remember Kellie Clarkson and Carrie Underwood?)
George Strait. I was married to a tune from this man way back in 2001. His music is so timeless that I dug through his boxset enroute to the church because I knew that at least one of his songs would be completely appropriate for that moment! It was even better than the originally picked Tim McGraw tune 'My Best Friend' that I had somehow misplaced. The 60-year-old Strait belted out a fantastic hit to a standing crowd as the godfather of country he is. Back in their hey-days he and Garth Brooks were the men to beat. Over 20 years later and Straight is still belting it out strong, true, no strings attached and straight country. You can almost smell the hay, cattle and small towns.
Holy Green Guitars Batman! I've had guiltars on the brain again. I've actually asked my talented neighbor to show me a single chord on one of her guitars so I can see if it's just another random passing thought or something that feels right and something that feels competent to my piano dabbling fingers. Eric Church plucked out a beautifully acoustical version of 'She Loves Me Like Jesus Does' on a gorgeous kelly green 6 string guitar. If I actually enjoy playing and pick it that will be my dream present for down the road at some random special occasion.
I will say living in Germany without any country station of any kind and having to rely purely on random blogs (which are usually more of the acoustical, folk, rock fashion) and award shows leaves this girl so out of the loop. iTunes may be useful for new music releases but it doesn't do true justice like a country radio channel. Singers I used to love are off the grid and there are so many artists that it feels like being the new kid at a mega-high school. Trying to pick the long-term players from the temporary one-hit-wonders is nearly impossible. It's like throwing spaghetti from the wall and seeing what sticks.
Carrie Underwood. (Speaking of the little American Idol girl.) This girl always does a fantastic show. The last four or five shows I've seen her on have all been fantastic. From the killer duet with Steve Tyler to climbing out of a cadillac and rocking another great cheater-cheater anthem. I do love the entire album though. It's rare to like an entire album from an artist. She's got one of them.
There were three hours worth of it all. I'd bore you all to tears with my coverage and rambling thoughts. I still love it all. Hand me so fresh chewy oatmeal cookies, creamy oven baked mac-n-cheese with fried chicken, iced sweet tea and some good singing.
My last note is what I find of epic value for those of you still hanging on. There have been a few priceless and unforgettable performances across all the award shows that get brought up again and again. The early days of the MTV awards, that moment when Kanye West totally hijacked Taylor Swift's acceptant speech for Beyonce, the accapella anthems by Adele and the acrobatics of Pink to name a few. This show didn't fail to provide either. My favoritest of all the moments came at the end of the show with Entertainer of the Year.
The nominees for the category of Entertainer of the Year were all casting beaming and expectant smiles into the cameras when they were announced. Some were hopeful, some earnest and some just excited to be nominated. When this winner was announced we all got to see a first or at the very least a complete rarity. All the other nominees did the typical woot!, hooray! and cheer. He stopped, pinched his nose and tried to curl into himself. This ideal country western man in his button down shirt, jeans and boots was crying in a completely humble and heartfelt manway. He barely held it together to accept his award. His wife was beaming and tearful from the front row. When he tried to say thank you he just stopped at one point and pled Baby?! His acceptance speech was honest, heartfelt, humble, simple and sincere. He couldn't stop the tears from the trickling and was clutching his award like a favorite toy the rest of the evening. It was beautiful. He just needed a hug ... besides the manhug/tackle/smootches he couldn't stop planting on his co-host and friend Shelton.
Random point one: We went to GIJoe2 recently. As a joke I told the husband that we should tell twin that a certain actor dies in the movie. Before we saw the movie. Found out I was right. Which was more hilarious because I didn't realize that (a) that actor was even in the movie and (b) he was going to die. Total spoiler alert. Husband is still a little shock and awed. I may get duct taped at the next movie.
Random point two: If a girl is being short tempered and slightly strung out it could be: summer, winter, PMS, PTSD, lack of sun, pregnancy, paper pregnancy (adopting), bad hair or my favorite: nothing to do with you. If a boy is the before mentioned 'he's fine'. Please blame the girl.
P.S. Paper Pregnancy shouldn't be overlooked, yet, many completely disregard it as legitimate. Give me a belly for 9 months and the world is my oyster, topped with blended chai, medium rare steak and allowances. Give me a paper pregnancy and the nesting instincts get eye rolls and questioning.
Random point three: Nesting. Oye. We are one document away (should receive April 2) from getting our homestudy closed out. After that the child hunt* begins. I have this overwhelming urge to get both the kids room prepped for the immediate filling even though it could easily be another 3-11 months before that is possible. (The homestudy will be good for 12 months to get children in our home.) Currently each room and the basement is half completed. Actually our livingroom, master bedroom and kitchen as well since two full rooms are being consolidated into other rooms.
I feel like a half baked chicken. Where are my eggs? Who screwed with my nest? I should try this new Pinterest chicken gyro recipe! (Nailed it.) I should try this new crochet pattern! (Nailed it.) We should host a last minute BBQ! (Oops don't know what to cook or have time to shop.) Let's pick fights with husband! Let's get irritable when he doesn't take 50% of the blame. Let's remember to blog more! (Failed it.)
Random point four: times like this I wish I had a vice like smoking or running or drinking. Then I would have to break this habits. Except the middle one which always sounds like a good way to blow off steam until I'm doing it than I hate life, myself, my foot, and my lungs. I also remind myself that one shouldn't run unless being chased. Preferable by a fast cat, tank or Jason Bourne.
My cat feels my pain. He's got another 10 days in his collar. The doc initially said 2 weeks before he changed it to 3. My pet my rules. Might just bend it a little so he can bathe himself. I most certainly will not be licking him.
*The official phrase is 'child matching' since it will cost us between 10-15k for a practically free in-state process since we aren't in the US currently I joke that we have to shop for our kids. I do however intend to spoil, love and harass them like the genetic children I've always desired. If the nurture/nature argument is correct I'm sure my teens will love to tell their friends they were 'bought' because their mom is crazy and loves the pine tar out of them. And since their prices are priceless she got a great deal!
The vet reassured me that it was ok. It was a fairly normal accident. Like the perfect storm. Cats often have their tiny jaws dislocated from jumping improperly from tall places or trying to rabbit ninja through a closing door that smacks them in the face. Because their owners where hip checking it. While on the phone. With two arms full of BBQ things. That ended up all over the floor.
I thought it grazed his shoulder. The kooky look he gave me spoke volumes. I felt horrified and mortified and terrified!
The very nice German vet clinic I took him too were very helpful (goodbye vacation money) and reassuring. They reset it and gave him a few stitches. Three weeks in a happy cone and soft food and should be good as new.
It's really hard not to mock his helmet.
C'mon you know you really want too.
In the adoption phase we are at a crucial phase. In the timeline it looks like this:
It's unbelievable that after a short four months we are almost fully green lit to finally 'shop for' SELECT our children and bring them home. It seems so surreal. For years I would use the metaphorical 'when we have kids' to the point that the husband was like STOP, STOP, STOP. We aren't sure if ever/when or whatnot. We can't make decisions that way. You are only setting yourself for heartbreak. Not anymore! Now he is reading children's profiles with me and he's excited and bragging and it's TOTALLY like the 2nd trimester of the pregnancy stage ... just without the morning sickness or cankles or visible afflictions. I have got to get or design some sort of awesome 'expecting' shirt for those of us adopting children and not just babies or infants.
This is a snippet of our Homstudy as drafted by the caseworker ... I have to say even with her taking a little bit of a writers liberty it made me tear up a bit! Our children ... the survivors of the next zombie apocolypse.
When the family was asked why they wanted to adopt and what their thoughts of their own parenting style are, both answered that they want to give to their children a loving and caring home. They both stated that they want to show them stability, mercy, love and grace. They want to teach them how to be responsible and take ownership of their actions and be strong for themselves. They want them to be unique and not fall prey to Hollywood stereotypes over ‘fat, thin, cool, and not cool.’ “I want them to be who they want to be, if it’s gay, straight, artist, carpenter, wrestler or an awesome book nerd,” stated [Gin]. [Gin's husband] stated, “I want to share our love of reading, technology, art, God, friendship, family, pets, sports, outdoors and hobbies.”. They both stated that they want their children to feel loved and important and feel that they are on the top of someone’s priority list. Both also stated that they want the children to understand that it is not a punishment to need to behave but it is a matter of respecting others and yourself. With common sense and self-control they can survive anything. [The couple] want their children to be such independent children that if technology turned itself off tomorrow and we were together as a family, it would not be the end of the world. They could survive and be intuitive and know they are cared for.
Long have I neglected my blog
There once was a girl was adopting
I am a distracted squirrel?
It's interesting how we change in life. I've gone through phases where all I did was blog, read blogs, obsess over blogs, wonder why the blogger didn't BLOG more BLOGS for us eager readers to read NOW NOW NOW, write blogs and talk about blogs. There was a phase of FB, FB, FB. Which wasn't me updating my status every five minutes so much as reading, posting photos, attempting to blog once, or twice, and constantly getting my feelings hurt over 'why would my bestest-ever-friend post that crazy important life action on FBOOK without texting/calling or letting me know first? There was a phase when I had a cool MySpac. Anyone remember those? The sweet backgrounds and photos and the music. Love music. Nomnomnom. There was a time when I mocked Pinteresters and what a time waster and why didn't they use cool aps like Craftgawker! (Which I still love and adore their App.) There have been times of craftiness and non craftiness and hooking and more hooking (let's face it I love me some yarn) and reading and carpal tunnel and the WorldofWarcrafting and the like. Music. Always the music.
Now I'm at a weird stage in life.
I still blog. I just find myself going through a constant life wave of updating on the upswing and not during the downswing. I'm not quite so obsessed about grinding readers and raising expectations of others that I may or may not be able to meet. I still read the occasional random and my favorite long time blog loves, but less frequently or daily and if it's impossible to comment from my iPhone I may wait a day or week before doing a mass comment dump.
I dabble on FB. I've found that if I read that daily I live in a constant state of irritation over the updates from the few that always involve more content suited for Pinterest or Myspace or their locker and far less 'notes about my life', 'important status updates' or things that share at their heart level. Now my friends and loves don't misunderstand this. I do have a core group of besties that I love to read their feeds. I love watching your families grow in Instagram and chuckling over the good, bad and ugly with you. It's just the 90% that I should just clip unapologetically from my site that ruins it for the 10%. And I have a guilt complex over 'how will they feel and how will it truly affect our family dynamic' that holds me back from doing so. Damn you Empathy! Wait until I tell mother! Perhaps I should just remove them or block their update feed and wait until the husband pipes up with the occasional 'did you see what so-and-so did?' It's funny how in some ways we are so opposite a lot of couples we know where only the wife as the 'family' account. Please don't even get me started on THAT rant.
I have found a love for Pinterest. I do get motivated and I do complete projects and I do have a collection of recipes and decor and craft projects that I complete. I have even found real tourist locations that look like postcards but are legitimate tourist locales within driving distance of my home. Like this:
So all in all you get the picture. I am here and there. I do still have quite the love for the blogging medium, just not at the obsession state. I am a highly distractable and random squirrel, which explains a lot. And this is how it is.
P.S. For those of you foaming in the mouth for us (which I appreciate MUCH MORE THAN YOU CAN BEGIN TO REALIZE) the answer is YES. Yes, we are still adopting. Yes, I owe you a great hefty blog about it (when I'm not running late to work.) Yes, I have every intention of doing so. Yes, my head is full of plans to decorate bedrooms and figure out things parents of older children have evolved into at a RIGHT.NOW. status. (Thanks Jess for that analogy.) Yes, I am allowing myself the distraction of WoW and my Kindle and torturing my cat when my head is full. Yes, I am embarking on some new and hefty responsibilities with our women's chapel group. Yes, I do have some blogs about that in the wings. Yes, I have the greatest of intentions and the worst of distractions and not the best of completions. Yes, I appreciate that you still love me.
Somehow I woke up this morning and discovered it was April Fool's Day. In March. I was surprised too. A warning would've been nice or a memo or email alert or Facebook notification. Something. Seriously Wednesday. You are lucky I met your oneryness with a grin, a chuckle and a spring in my step.
To start the day I had breakfast with a friend. Normal enough. By noon I had four different phone calls from four different people from the hospital I worked at. I normally receive maybe a call a week since it is known that we do our job daily and it was a 'non flight day' or 'off shopping day. ' No matter, I had patients. Not a surprise there. Once I got to work I realized not only did I have a few patients to shop for, I had three times the average of the past four weeks. What the hell Wednesday. You are already off to a strange start.
First of the strange patients: would you like to have one of my man shaped fruits [banana] and hear the story about this one time when me and the other tough special ops guys confused a flock [herd?] of turtles with bad guys and went a few nights without sleep? I did and he was hilarious and it was all the more funny that we had him staying in a pediatric room with lion printed curtains. Manly up!
Second of the strange patients: cute scrawny short guy insisting I should buy him 38" jeans because he liked them boot length. His legs are shorter than mine and I look like a gangster in 31" pants. I pulled the 'expert shoppper' card and strongly suggested a 34".
Second phase of the shenanigans evolved at the store. I ordered two 'new' black bean burritos from the black girl at Taco Bell. (Now realize I rarely ever designate a person by their race but in this instance it makes sense.) The girl looks me straight in the eye and says "good choice. You know once you go black you never go back." Um. ok?
I also managed to stumble into a polka-dot vintage dress for $12. It was marked down 75%. That was a cherry on my interesting sundae. Especially ironic since I was spending $1750 on mens clothing and hadn't thought to lok at womens.
I ended the day pulling a nine hour shift when only a four was planned. So it started two hours late and ended way past the sun. Meanwhile the husband went to our home group without me and my bacon summer potato salad was a smashing success. I was able to enjoy a little late night pampering as planned. It's always nice to know an off the rails day doesn't have to be terrible.